“I’m trying a new style of forgiveness – update!

Book Cover of Forgive for Good by Dr Fred Luskin
Book Cover of Forgive for Good by Dr Fred Luskin

Editors note – read last week’s blog first to fully appreciate this one.

Well, you’ll be pleased to know that my dear old dad accepted my heartfelt apology with the following statement.

“Apology accepted. I will ALWAYS love you boy. X”

I’ve got to say, the moment that hit my message box I was pretty damned happy.

I really thought I’d overdone it this time around.

Words are so powerful, whether used for good or for bad.

In the seven days it took for my father to respond, I contemplated many scenarios, but this one stuck more than the others.

What my life would be like without him in it.

In the time between the fight and makeup, my forty-first birthday had passed and for the first time in my life, I hadn’t received a birthday call from my Dad.

It was rough I’m not gonna lie, but a necessary evil at the time.

I thought about how sad it would be to have my own children and for them to not have anything to do with Poppa Ric.

I thought about what it would be like to attend any future funeral. To deal with the death of the person and also awkwardly avoid the man I once called my father.

I thought about what would happen if he died and I hadn’t ever heard back from him and my apology was never accepted.

I’m glad I took the advice of Dr Fred Luskin and apologised. I can’t tell you the weight that has come off my shoulders as a result.

I’m sure my dad now feels better knowing his son doesn’t actually want to disown him and renounce him as his father.

My dad and I may never see eye to eye again, but I’ll manage that separately.

This is what is it is until it changes.

And just remember.

Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free – Stormie Omartian

In the meantime, I’m gonna see who else I can forgive.

Published by Laban Ditchburn

New Zealand born, Australian citizen with a fresh perspective on life after conquering addiction in all its forms. Ultra-marathons, self-experimentation and extreme mental challenges are my new jam. Seeing other human-beings push their own mental, physical and spiritual boundaries is one of life's great gifts. Whilst continuing my own quest for self-improvement, I thrive in working with those that are willing to make their own changes for the better. Also, I eat steak like it's going out of fashion.

Leave a Reply